date: 03.03.2003
entitled: "inherited sweet tooth"

Have E. L. Fudge cookies always had Elvin names carved on the front, with little phrases on the back? I just ate one named �Fast Eddie�, and his corresponding phrase was �Dunk Head First�. Christ on a bike, even the Keebler Elves are getting raunchy nowadays. I want to rummage through the whole package now, just to read all the little names and sayings! Hopefully they will redeem themselves. That idea reminds me of how my grandmother always used to, upon receiving a box of chocolates, shove her thumb right through the tops of the candies, to see what was in the center. It became second nature in my family to eat the caved-in chocolates she would offer us � at least we knew what kind we were getting.

song stuck in my head:

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