date: 02.19.2003
entitled: "WINTER BLOOD"

It�s funny how people suddenly become retarded when snow hits the ground. And the more snow, the more dumbfounded people are. I�ll admit that it will slow you down a bit, whether walking around or driving or whatever. But it�s just ridiculous, the number of people who are caught, open-mouthed and doe-eyed, when, let�s say, encountering a large puddle at the foot of some subway stairs. They stop, look around � �oh, a PUDDLE! Now what do I do?� � gingerly lift their pant legs or skirt, and tip toe through the water. IT�S WATER. JUST WALK THROUGH THE GODDAMN WATER OR JUMP OVER IT. And they probably have to walk at least a block or two from the subway to work, or wherever, during which time they are going to get their pant legs or skirts completely soaked anyway.

I thought I left that all behind in Michigan, with all the idiotic drivers who suddenly begin making REALLY STUPID moves on the road when it snows. You know the type � pulling into traffic when there�s not a chance in hell they won�t get rear-ended, braking quickly on ice, accelerating quickly on ice, trying to make it through that stale yellow, and generally driving way..more..slowly than they need to be. But oh no, I didn�t leave any of that behind. It followed me here to the big city. The day after our big snow squall, the subway stops were PACKED with people, all anxious to get to work on time, which meant nobody got to work on time. The train conductors were getting really pissed off, trying to close the doors and move on � �PEOPLE!! WE ARE NOT CATTLE! WE ARE NOT SHEEP! STOP TRYIN� TA SSSQUISH PEOPLE IN. THERE IS ANOTHER TRAIN DIRECTLY BEHIND THIS ONE.� At least it made people a little less ornery during that commute.

I got my first nosebleed today! I�ve never had one before � and no, I�m not lying. I�ve had my fair share of bloody mucous during sinus infections and dry winter months, but never an actual NOSEBLEED. It was quite exhilarating, to be quite honest. I suddenly felt like that kid who sat next to you in first grade, who had a constant pile of paper towels tucked inside his desk, just in case his nose started bleeding again. It always looked so painful to see other people with a huge wad of tissue under their nose, head tilted back. Luckily, I saw my allergist today, and he told me to go buy some �nasal gel�. I didn�t know there was such a thing on the market. Alright! Something new to add to the medicine cabinet! SCORE!

song stuck in my head:

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